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And with a beautifully sadistic baroque design and upside-down cross, it’s your subtle way of saying: “I'm not supposed to be out here.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"823\" data-end=\"849\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"826\" data-end=\"847\"\u003eFeatures include:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"850\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"850\" data-end=\"911\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"852\" data-end=\"911\"\u003eGiant 6ft x 3ft surface area for full body coverage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"912\" data-end=\"961\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"914\" data-end=\"961\"\u003eSuper soft cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"962\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"964\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003eGothic detail so extra it makes the sand uncomfortable\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","published_at":"2025-07-02T11:19:18-05:00","created_at":"2025-07-01T20:25:08-05:00","vendor":"INK POISONING APPAREL","type":"Towel","tags":["Bathroom Towel","Beach Towel","Towel"],"price":4999,"price_min":4999,"price_max":4999,"available":true,"price_varies":false,"compare_at_price":null,"compare_at_price_min":0,"compare_at_price_max":0,"compare_at_price_varies":false,"variants":[{"id":46665848291554,"title":"Default Title","option1":"Default Title","option2":null,"option3":null,"sku":null,"requires_shipping":true,"taxable":true,"featured_image":null,"available":true,"name":"\"I'm Too Pale for This\" Towel","public_title":null,"options":["Default Title"],"price":4999,"weight":454,"compare_at_price":null,"inventory_management":"shopify","barcode":"","requires_selling_plan":false,"selling_plan_allocations":[]}],"images":["\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/B663DDA1-0A8F-4C05-BD65-AF8504DB4749.png?v=1751420018","\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_2.png?v=1751420018","\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_3.png?v=1751420018","\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_4.png?v=1751420018","\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/two_models_-_too_pale.png?v=1751420018"],"featured_image":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/B663DDA1-0A8F-4C05-BD65-AF8504DB4749.png?v=1751420018","options":["Title"],"media":[{"alt":null,"id":36095826690274,"position":1,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":0.562,"height":1424,"width":800,"src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/B663DDA1-0A8F-4C05-BD65-AF8504DB4749.png?v=1751420018"},"aspect_ratio":0.562,"height":1424,"media_type":"image","src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/B663DDA1-0A8F-4C05-BD65-AF8504DB4749.png?v=1751420018","width":800},{"alt":null,"id":36095667667170,"position":2,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.369,"height":1096,"width":1500,"src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_2.png?v=1751420018"},"aspect_ratio":1.369,"height":1096,"media_type":"image","src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_2.png?v=1751420018","width":1500},{"alt":null,"id":36095667699938,"position":3,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":0.941,"height":1063,"width":1000,"src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_3.png?v=1751420018"},"aspect_ratio":0.941,"height":1063,"media_type":"image","src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_3.png?v=1751420018","width":1000},{"alt":null,"id":36095667863778,"position":4,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.5,"height":1000,"width":1500,"src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_4.png?v=1751420018"},"aspect_ratio":1.5,"height":1000,"media_type":"image","src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/I_m_too_pale_for_this_4.png?v=1751420018","width":1500},{"alt":null,"id":36095691063522,"position":5,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":0.667,"height":1500,"width":1000,"src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/two_models_-_too_pale.png?v=1751420018"},"aspect_ratio":0.667,"height":1500,"media_type":"image","src":"\/\/inkpoisoningapparel.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/two_models_-_too_pale.png?v=1751420018","width":1000}],"requires_selling_plan":false,"selling_plan_groups":[],"content":"\u003cp\u003eMeasuring a full 6ft x 3ft, it’s big enough to wrap your whole sun-fearing body like the delicate gothic burrito you are. Ultra-soft for maximum comfort while you lay there wondering how long it takes to get melanoma. And with a beautifully sadistic baroque design and upside-down cross, it’s your subtle way of saying: “I'm not supposed to be out here.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"823\" data-end=\"849\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"826\" data-end=\"847\"\u003eFeatures include:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"850\" data-end=\"1092\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"850\" data-end=\"911\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"852\" data-end=\"911\"\u003eGiant 6ft x 3ft surface area for full body coverage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"912\" data-end=\"961\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"914\" data-end=\"961\"\u003eSuper soft cotton\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"962\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"964\" data-end=\"1020\"\u003eGothic detail so extra it makes the sand uncomfortable\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e"}
